imminent change...

In just a few hours possible irreversible change is waiting for me at the airport. I don't know if i'm ready to have my life change - even for good! Usually change comes up from behind and pulls a sack over my head and quickly bundles me into the next thing - but this time i am walking straight into it. Armed with what i don't know, all the safe things and familiar fantasies have to be left behind in order to meet this fully.

All week in the lead up to this i've been plagued even in my sleep ambushed by memories once dear sweet ones now they are my torment. I guess that's the cycle - i no longer want them if they are not to be part of my story.

so i walk forward - not at all prepared - i pray for provision and strength where i do not have it on my own